What they really think…
For those of you living with a Thai girlfriend chances are you have found yourself scratching your head on more than one occasion in disbelief or just all round confusion as to what they have said or done. In all honesty it’s borne from our cultural differences, as we too have idiosyncrasies that other cultures would find strange. Inspire was fortunate enough to get an account from one Thai lady in her early thirties who is very familiar with Bangkok and Pattaya.
(1) Views on Pattaya and advice for Thai girls
“It’s not uncommon for your young sister to want to visit you when you are staying in Pattaya, like the case with me. It was with a view to her getting a small job while she was on her school holidays from Korat, yet as it turned out I really didn’t want my 16 year old sister to set foot anywhere on her own in Pattaya. I want her to be proud and earn her own money but to work in Pattaya, I don’t think so. Before I used to think she could get a job like work in 7-11 but after spending more time here I don’t want her too.
The reason for this is not that I am just an over protective older and more street wise sister, but I didn’t want her to end up mixing in the wrong circles and seeing how easy it was to work in a bar as a prostitute and make quick cash. There are also the problems of drugs in Pattaya and I can see how easy it is for girls to get hooked on this. Maybe she would meet the wrong Thai boyfriend while in Pattaya too, there is so much to worry about for a young Thai girl living in Pattaya.
For a Thai girl living in Pattaya you need to be strong, be yourself and don’t let others tell you what to do. The problem of face often makes it difficult to say no to your friends, and this is where the problems can start. It is easy to make money here, but it is just as easy to spend it and often the more money you get the worse it can be. ‘Friends’ tend to appear when you have money, but just as quickly disappear when you have nothing. Remember, no one loves you as much as your family, and make sure you love yourself too!
I have learned that money does not fix everything, far better my sister work in Korat for far less money but be surrounded by her family to look after her and not end up hanging out with the wrong kids.”
(2) Thai women living abroad
“When I lived in America I learned so much from how Westerners live their lives and it also shocked me how Thai women acted once in a new country. Most acted the same as they did when they were in Thailand seemingly begrudging the ways of foreigners and some of the back stabbing that seems to happen among Thai girls in Thailand, continued abroad!
When you did get friendly with a fellow Thai if they were older they would give you the advice continuously. A Westerner listens and accepts views from any age and takes on board skills and knowledge. In Thailand it is whoever is the oldest must be correct, even if they were poorly educated. There were many Thais living in the US and they formed close groups – which can be expected really – yet there was always a kind of fight for one to try and be the ‘leader’ or ‘Alpha’. I have spoken with many other Thais that have lived abroad and they saw it too. If you are a Thai lady and planning to go abroad, never lend other Thais you meet money, as you will rarely get it back. Don’t be fooled with kind words and calling you ‘sister’ this soon goes when they get what they want. Well this was my experience on numerous occasions!
Although I enjoyed my experience abroad I must admit I really missed my true family living back in Korat. When I saw how other Thais could be, it made me a little sad.
If you are lucky enough to go abroad try and learn, don’t lose your Thai roots and values but do take on Westerners views. Be kind of fifty, fifty in your views. Respect yourself and be sure to improve your education while abroad.”
(3) Foreigners living in Pattaya
“The first time they ever land in Pattaya, when the wheels of the plane touchdown in Thailand they are good; once Pattaya has got hold of them, they change. One night is all that is needed, and they will all change in different ways. From loss of respect for Thai women, others will view it as ‘paradise’ and they will love the cheap lifestyle. Clearly this isn’t everyone, but it’s a large chunk.
If you meet a Thai girlfriend and you love her, both leave Pattaya. Pattaya is not for families, it is for a single man. Pattaya is in a lot of ways like Las Vegas, no place to build a family. Ok, so it has changed a little, but at the core it is still the Pattaya of old, and that is a ‘whore town’.
As a foreigner living here you will get frustrated with Thais and their working standards. Just because someone says they can repair your house doesn’t mean it will get done properly. Tread carefully and find the right, skilled Thai worker. Thais don’t like to disappoint so would rather say yes they can do it than have to say no to you. This can often be at your expense.”